I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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