she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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