And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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