i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Damn victory sex feels great
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