i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
