Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
