Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
