So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
