My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
