$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
