I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
