she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
