Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
