After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
