I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
