he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
