Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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