Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want nice things and good sex
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
