i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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