Betty ford says i'm here all night
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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