and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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