i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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