I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize