Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
