It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
