it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
