I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
