You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
