why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
