I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
