We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
