i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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