It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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