: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
