Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
as a side note pls kill me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
