I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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