Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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