Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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