Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
