what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
