I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
