We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
