Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
