She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh god it's open bar.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
