You really coming over, don't trick.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
