During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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