It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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