youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
