I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
