i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
