420 ftw
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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