he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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