Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize