I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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