Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Fuck appropriateness.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
