just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
