Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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