I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
