If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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