I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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