No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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