I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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