Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sponge bath it is.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
